jaggedwolf

I started a post a week ago, got partway through, and then... stopped. I'd gotten what I'd wanted out of writing it, I suppose, and didn't need to either finish or share it.

So! Assorted things!


1.
Flying down from Portland to the SF Bay reminded me of the amount I like bahn mi (because the airport had a Vietnamese place and I was immediately struck by yes I want this), a thing that is technically possible to get in this area but takes more thought/driving than I prefer. Hanging out on the phone with hafnia yesterday as she made buns for bahn mi reminded me of this. xD (She was also formatting the almost-25k AU-of-our-OW-stuff fic she wrote for me while we were talking, which is why I ended up providing the title and most of the tags. Love some good angst with a happy ending! Grief/mourning! Trans feels!) (If you're like "wait if this is a gift fic why is it a co-author thing instead of a gifted work" the answer is "because this is what makes more sense as to the process according to us" and also I drew an art that's in there too.)


2.
Went back to work. Was told that yup, I'm still working with the same guy. Asked him what we were doing and was told we were still working on the same things as when I'd left. Two weeks passed and nothing changed. Is this soothing? idk. It's certainly easy.

One of the guys who does management in the company I work for stopped by the worksite, and one of his reasons was that he wanted to talk to me.

"I'm looking ahead to future jobs," he began, rather awkwardly. "Not sure how to ask this in a way that's..."

"Respectful?" I suggest, already knowing where this is going.

"Yeah, something like that." He pauses. "When I do the paperwork for some jobs, I need to record how many workers are female. Should I count you as female?"

"I am legally female," I tell him, which is true. (I have no reason to update paperwork? The ways in which I care make it more convenient to let everything continue saying F, in fact.)

Immediately, and with great relief at hopefully ending a conversation he does not have the vocabulary for, he says, "Great! No need to say more, that's all I need to know."

Because I am not bothered by this conversation, and in fact have been wondering how long it'd take for someone to actually have it with me, I continue anyway. "I'm a minority gender anyway," I point out. "And I know that women are the only minority gender they track, so you should put me in that category regardless."

He nods, and then I let him actually change the subject to that he's been told that I'm the best apprentice on the job site, and multiple journeypeople (including the one I work with) have praised me to him. A nice thing to hear. I knew this, but, y'know, it's good that it's being passed up to the people who make hiring decisions.

He also said he expected me to do very well, since I clearly am here to learn and put effort in. Asked me about school, and I told him that I'm looking forward to this year beginning and doing CAD, since that's something I really wanted to learn and get into. (Gotta say it while I've got his attention, y'know?)

At which point he's all "I don't want to make you feel like this is a bad goal but" and tells me that he thinks AI is going to be taking over that particular bit of the field. Which is silly, because even if you have an neural network generate a first draft of where it thinks ductwork should go in a building etc, you still need a human to check it over, and I do not think that significantly reduces a human's role in doing the work.

(also I talked to my best friend, whose job involves entirely too much going "AI is not what you think it is nor as good as you think it is" at professors etc at the university they work at, and they were like "yeah, AI is going to crash soon anyway just because it costs too much", so like. whatever.)

anyway work continues apace and is mostly not too exasperating even when I'm like "idk that this is the most efficient use of manpower, but whatever I'm not being paid to manage this" (can we just. stay on a floor until we finish it. instead of bouncing between three almost-finished floors.)


3.
I went out to the Albany area on Monday to visit a dear friend. Got reminded that (a) it's a really pretty drive, (b) it's not as long a drive as I think it is, and (c) we really really love each other a lot.

Was all "I visited you here once before, for new years before the pandemic" and she apparently has no memory of this? I have MANY specific memories of that visit. It's fine, just a bit "huh, okay", says something about the state she was in at that time even if she seemed fine to me then.

Talked a lot, mostly. About being trans, and dysphoria and what we're doing about it, about neurodivergence and our childhoods and families, and about the summer camps we met at when we were teens. (So many of the people we were like "hey do you remember—" about one of us was like "yeah, different name and pronouns now!" about. not many we keep in touch with, really, but even so.)

This was aided by her partner also being there going "wait can you explain context for me", because yeah we've known each other and loved each other for like... half our lives? That's a long time. We drift in and out of each other's lives but whenever we're in the same place again we fit right back together. It's gotten easier each time, too, as we become more ourselves.

She's going to be leaving again soon, as she does. She's built her own tiny mobile home that she can hook up to her truck and drive around. It's mostly done; she thinks it'll be pretty much complete for off-grid living in the next two years. Always more things she could add, of course, but it's so close, and she's been working on it for... I forget exactly, but I think it was a pre-pandemic project too. Wants to end up in the Vancouver area, she said, but she's stopping by I think Chicago region first to work on restoring a wooden sailboat a mentor left to her, because she wants to take that mentor sailing one last time before her mentor is too old for it.

We also spent (after her partner had to leave to drive back to CT) like an hour and a half just touching, and probably could've spent more time like that were it not for the pesky fact that I had to, y'know, be a person and work the next day, and thus had to drive home.

A good time. Hopefully I'll see her again before she leaves the area again.


4.
I reread Carol Berg's Transformation while travelling, and was struck by how much of it is foundational iddiness for me. xD I need to pick up the rest of the trilogy (borrowed that one from a friend who only owns the first, since they don't care about the other two) to see how much else is like "oh god yeah that sure was influential".

I'd remembered Seyonne's magic and winged form, obviously, but I'd forgotten Aleksander being cursed to transform into a giant cat, and some of the fate/soulbond-vibes stuff, and—

look I really love Carol Berg as an author but haven't reread her works in years and truly the only thing I could wish for about the ones I imprinted on is that I could have more women in them. xD Which is about par for the course for things with intense male-male bonds at their core.


5.
I went down to a river yesterday, because the afternoon was beautiful and warm despite the morning being gray. Beautiful little spot, kind of in the middle of nowhere in particular, rather hidden; the sort of place you need to intentionally look for.

Somehow didn't expect it to be warm enough in the water that my immediate response wasn't so much "yeah I wanna wade along this" as "no I gotta immerse myself in this"? Too used to California snowmelt still, even after so long in MA.

spent like an hour in there. didn't see anyone else until when I was like "okay I guess I am getting too chilly to want to hang out longer, should probably put clothes back on and leave". (The person I saw at that point was also like "yes this is a place for being IN WATER" so, y'know, same vibe. sort of nodded at each other and then continued on our ways.)


6.
Is it really an entry if I don't talk about aikido at least a little?

One of my friends is gonna take shodan at the beginning of November, so I've been going over to practice with them as I can. Got to do koshinage with them this past week at the end of class, because that dojo's sensei likes doing high-level practice as a demo for everyone else to watch. (His dojo is mostly newer students, so it's a joy for them to have visitors who can help showcase high-level practice, especially when it's stuff like me and that friend really going at it because we know each other well.)

The result of that particular session was us both going "gotta practice koshinage more". xD We both know three of them solidly, which is to be clear more than is necessary for the test, but there are two others they sort of remember and I should also know, so we're like "gotta show up to test prep and do some practice just on this". It'll happen when it can.

On Wednesday, one of the kids came to adult class; her schedule changed with the beginning of the school year, so that she can't make it to kids class, and she's got the height and skill for adult class even if she's a little younger than would ordinarily go to it, so... it worked out, she did great, everyone is taking very good care of her.

Gonna be a dojo party this afternoon, too, even with a storm likely to hit right over when it's happening. Always fun to see those folk outside the dojo in a more social situation. (They go out for drinks after class on Wednesdays a lot of the time and it's just like. I would love to join them, because alcohol is not actually the point, but my schedule is several hours earlier than anyone else's and so instead I'm like "alas I need to go home and eat food and shower and sleep". So. This is nice. It's at a time I can be a person!)