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jaggedwolfFrom here, I decided to use one of these days for my Bible reading update.
So! In the summer of 2016, on a whim, I decided to read the entire Bible, my entire reasoning being 1. Seems pretty important to a lot of people in this country 2. I know nothing about any Abrahamic religion, might as well as slightly shift that. I, uh, just finished Revelations today.
I wasn't too rigorous about comprehending every reference, beyond skimming the Wikipedia and Tvtropes entries for each book I finished. (Yes, there are Tvtropes entries. Yes, this means they labeled Michael's fight with Satan over the body of Moses a "Noodle Incident").
Adding a cut for the random notes and reactions I had, with the note that these are the flippantly earnest (or earnestly flippant) reactions of an atheist with zero relevant religious background.
A list of my sum total of Bible-related knowledge before I started this:
In other words, much of what I read was very new to me. It was also very disjointed - I don't know if I'd thought it would be more of a whole story, but it sure wasn't.
Old Testament
So much of what I osmosised was packed together in Genesis, which surprised me. When I read Exodus in 2016, you will not believe how mad I was that Moses doesn't get to the promised land. Like sure, all the general shitty stuff God does, whatever, but I was working off my memories of the animated movie that ends of the parting of the red sea, and for over a decade and I had been under the impression that of course Moses gets to reach the promised land!! Nope!!!
All the conquering wars get skimmed over super quickly, it's just XYZ conquered and defeated ABC people once TUV conditions were achieved so we got the land, nice - I guess my only basis of comparison I have here are epics where the war and warrioring is a big chunk of the climax, which is very much not either testament's M.O.
Kings and the other books where kings just kept fucking up by not listening to God cracked me up. I was moved by the story of Ruth. Job's friends are assholes. The long passages on the exact measurements with which one builds a temple (that a guy gets in a dream) were worse to get through than Leviticus IMO. There's a line from Proverbs that describes the concept of adultery a a woman who's "sharp as a two-edged sword, her feet go down to death", which IMO is more compelling than it should be.
The part where Hosea marries a woman who cheats on him on God's orders just so God can use it as an extended metaphor about his followers....was unexpected. As was Song of Solomon.
Anyway, kind of wish I had taken more notes towards the end bit of the Old Testament, I think a lot of those books blended together.
New Testament
I had somehow never learned before that the Gospels are the Jesus story*4. Judas and Mary Magdalene have way less characterization than I expected, but I've been informed the latter gets more stuff in non-Bible canon? IIRC, she shows up in the Bible just for the post-resurrection angel to ask her to signal boost his post.
I have this note for the gospels that I'm unclear on the theological accuracy of: Jesus went, you know how my dad said bad actions are bad? Bad thoughts are bad now too, so go deal with that. But you also gotta forgive everyone easier now.
Favorite line from Acts: "having been forbidden by the Holy Spirit to speak the word in Asia". And they go to Asia anyway! (Don't worry, I did eventually figure out that Asia didn't refer to the continent.)
Favorite part of Romans was probably the way the text frames the Romans going ??? at the religious disagreements being brought to their attention.
I...could not believe that Paul the Apostle - who I also didn't know existed - was previously called Saul before he had a vision that made him convert. Saul to Paul! A friend called this sp hybridization. I should have anticipated how much of the NT would be conversion adventures TM. Also, a lot of the NT is spent on Paul's teachings.
1 Corinthians is decently short, and yet has the wildest density of parts that grabbed my attention.
I have a note that "Alexander the coppersmith did me great harm" is a very funny phrase - I agree but don't remember which book that's from. I don't think I understand why 2 James or 3 James are included.
Revelations sure was an escalation! It also made me chronologically confused, because I thought Satan/Lucifer getting thrown out of heaven is something that happened forever ago in the theology, but apparently it's something that will happen when the world goes wild as it ends?? Unclear.
That was an interesting time. I think my next text to scatter between regular book reading will be the Ramayana. That'll be interesting since I have way more prior knowledge and context there, obviously.
So! In the summer of 2016, on a whim, I decided to read the entire Bible, my entire reasoning being 1. Seems pretty important to a lot of people in this country 2. I know nothing about any Abrahamic religion, might as well as slightly shift that. I, uh, just finished Revelations today.
I wasn't too rigorous about comprehending every reference, beyond skimming the Wikipedia and Tvtropes entries for each book I finished. (Yes, there are Tvtropes entries. Yes, this means they labeled Michael's fight with Satan over the body of Moses a "Noodle Incident").
Adding a cut for the random notes and reactions I had, with the note that these are the flippantly earnest (or earnestly flippant) reactions of an atheist with zero relevant religious background.
A list of my sum total of Bible-related knowledge before I started this:
- vague adam and eve osmosis (might've been partially bolstered by reading narnia?? unclear)
- Joseph and his dream-interpreting, courtesy of the Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat movie musical. Would recommend - it has Joseph yelling "I don't believe in free love!" and the Pharaoh basically being Elvis.
- Noah's ark, courtesy of some random animated movie I watched as a kid
- Animated Moses movie, may or may not have been Prince Of Egypt
- The basic Jesus osmosis - water-> wine, The Last Supper, crucifixion. Also Judas exists.
In other words, much of what I read was very new to me. It was also very disjointed - I don't know if I'd thought it would be more of a whole story, but it sure wasn't.
Old Testament
So much of what I osmosised was packed together in Genesis, which surprised me. When I read Exodus in 2016, you will not believe how mad I was that Moses doesn't get to the promised land. Like sure, all the general shitty stuff God does, whatever, but I was working off my memories of the animated movie that ends of the parting of the red sea, and for over a decade and I had been under the impression that of course Moses gets to reach the promised land!! Nope!!!
All the conquering wars get skimmed over super quickly, it's just XYZ conquered and defeated ABC people once TUV conditions were achieved so we got the land, nice - I guess my only basis of comparison I have here are epics where the war and warrioring is a big chunk of the climax, which is very much not either testament's M.O.
Kings and the other books where kings just kept fucking up by not listening to God cracked me up. I was moved by the story of Ruth. Job's friends are assholes. The long passages on the exact measurements with which one builds a temple (that a guy gets in a dream) were worse to get through than Leviticus IMO. There's a line from Proverbs that describes the concept of adultery a a woman who's "sharp as a two-edged sword, her feet go down to death", which IMO is more compelling than it should be.
The part where Hosea marries a woman who cheats on him on God's orders just so God can use it as an extended metaphor about his followers....was unexpected. As was Song of Solomon.
Anyway, kind of wish I had taken more notes towards the end bit of the Old Testament, I think a lot of those books blended together.
New Testament
I had somehow never learned before that the Gospels are the Jesus story*4. Judas and Mary Magdalene have way less characterization than I expected, but I've been informed the latter gets more stuff in non-Bible canon? IIRC, she shows up in the Bible just for the post-resurrection angel to ask her to signal boost his post.
I have this note for the gospels that I'm unclear on the theological accuracy of: Jesus went, you know how my dad said bad actions are bad? Bad thoughts are bad now too, so go deal with that. But you also gotta forgive everyone easier now.
Favorite line from Acts: "having been forbidden by the Holy Spirit to speak the word in Asia". And they go to Asia anyway! (Don't worry, I did eventually figure out that Asia didn't refer to the continent.)
Favorite part of Romans was probably the way the text frames the Romans going ??? at the religious disagreements being brought to their attention.
I...could not believe that Paul the Apostle - who I also didn't know existed - was previously called Saul before he had a vision that made him convert. Saul to Paul! A friend called this sp hybridization. I should have anticipated how much of the NT would be conversion adventures TM. Also, a lot of the NT is spent on Paul's teachings.
1 Corinthians is decently short, and yet has the wildest density of parts that grabbed my attention.
- the "love is patient, love is kind" quote
- "for now we see in a mirror dimly", which I had only ever known as a Mountain Goats lyric
- Paul going look, it's better if you christians don't marry, but if you're too damn horny then you better marry instead of sinning
- opinions on hair length and hair coverings for men and women
I have a note that "Alexander the coppersmith did me great harm" is a very funny phrase - I agree but don't remember which book that's from. I don't think I understand why 2 James or 3 James are included.
Revelations sure was an escalation! It also made me chronologically confused, because I thought Satan/Lucifer getting thrown out of heaven is something that happened forever ago in the theology, but apparently it's something that will happen when the world goes wild as it ends?? Unclear.
That was an interesting time. I think my next text to scatter between regular book reading will be the Ramayana. That'll be interesting since I have way more prior knowledge and context there, obviously.
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Date: 2021-01-04 03:55 am (UTC)I had somehow never learned before that the Gospels are the Jesus story*4
According to religion classes I had to take in high school (sigh), it's because each of the four authors were writing to different audiences and each was written years (or even decades) apart. So, Mark was writing primarily to other Jews, John was getting mystical with it, one of the others was writing primarily to the non-Jewish Roman population though I forget if that was Luke or Matthew, etc. You probably picked that up in your Wikipedia/TVTropes reading, but I thought I'd mention it in case not!
The Ramayana is way more readable, imo. Though to be fair I've never read the entire thing, just a few novel-length translations/abridgements which might have cut out parts like measurements given in dreams.
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Date: 2021-01-04 05:42 am (UTC)My prior context with the Ramayana is also something like 1. the animated movie version I watched multiple times as kid that stops after the war ends 2. an abridged illustrated teens version I read as a teen, which was the first time I learned about Sita's banishment and I was very mad about that bit. So, I also have no idea if dream measurements are a thing. I suspect genealogies might, though less than in the Mahabharata.
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Date: 2021-01-04 06:15 am (UTC)Ha, yes, a version that ends before that would be way better! Have you seen 'Sita Sings the Blues'? It's an (admittedly kinda weird, kinda experimental) animated film that crosses over the Ramayana with 1920s music and focuses on Sita's POV, especially regarding the whole trial by fire/banishment thing. It's really good! And the whole thing's available to watch for free on Youtube.
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Date: 2021-01-06 02:33 am (UTC)